Polarity Thinking

How many times have you had a difficult choice to make between two priorities? It might be - should I focus on enjoying today or investing for the future? Or, should I put my energy into giving to others or taking care of myself? These either-or choices are examples of polarity thinking. Our approach to polarity thinking can be an obstacle as we walk into our dreams. The secret to polarity thinking is to change our perspective from either-or to both-and. 

Polarity thinking involves choices about competing values. Polarities are behind many apparently unsolvable dilemmas in our personal lives and in organizations - planning vs. execution, freedom vs. accountability, action vs. reflection, home vs. work. It is important to recognize that each competing value by itself is neither good nor bad but we tend to take sides and this leads to some unintended consequences. 

One of the polarities that operates in my life is being task-oriented vs. people-oriented. I tend to take sides with being task-oriented. That is easy for me to justify. You see being task-oriented is a much more efficient approach which means that I can focus on getting important things done which benefit a lot of people. If I had to focus on people and hold their hand while trying to get these important things done, nothing would ever get done and everybody would suffer. 

Did you see what I just did? The diagram below will show that I did two things to justify my position. First I emphasized the positive (but not the negative) characteristics of being task-oriented. Second, I emphasized the negative characteristics (but not the positive ones) of being people-oriented. 

When I fill in the other two squares of the diagram, it is easy to see how my approach to polarity thinking has led to some unintended consequences. Being task-oriented alienates people leading to increased resistance to what I need to accomplish. Being people-oriented helps me to see an issue from different perspectives and create buy-in in others. 

By changing our perspective on competing values to both-and, there is an opportunity to optimize our approach. That way we can realize the benefits of both competing values. Notice that I said optimize and not balance. You cannot balance competing values but you can optimize them. 

When we continue in an either-or perspective for long enough, we tend to reap the negative consequences of both polarities.

One of the ways we optimize competing values is by identifying trigger points that show us that we are getting too far into the negative effects of one of our competing values. We can then pay attention to the other value. For example, if I am running into opposition with a member of my team (a negative trigger), that is a good sign that I need to slow down on the task, and listen to their concerns (investing in being people-oriented). Chances are that I may see something that I didn't see before (a positive consequence of being people-oriented) and once they are on board the project will move forward quickly again (a positive consequence of being task-oriented).  

While there will always be difficult choices to make, changing our approach to polarity thinking can make some choices easier.  By identifying the competing values and being willing to look at our perspective on the values we hold closely, we will realize more benefits than we thought possible as we walk into our dreams. 

Note: I want to acknowledge the work of Russ Gaskin and Cliff Kayser who first introduced me to polarity thinking in a workshop at the 2011 Systems Thinking Conference in Seattle.

Stories: Refusing the Call

We have already talked about the power of story ... how we have all been provided with the beginning chapter of an incredible story ... how we move from the ordinary world into our dream by recognizing and responding to the unlikely calls that present themselves. You would think that great stories would have the hero or heroine excitedly moving forward at the first sign of opportunity. But that is not usually what happens. Most often the next step is a refusal of the call. This week I want to explore the action of refusing and what part it has in the process of putting the pieces of our dreams together. 

Refusal can take many forms. For Moses in The Prince of Egypt it was: Who am I? What if they don't believe me? Send someone else. For Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit it was: Sorry, I don't want any adventures, thank you. For Simba in The Lion King it was not wanting to face his past. For others it might be: I am too old, or too young. Someone might be disappointed in me, or get angry. I have always done it this way. It is too risky. Who am I trying to fool?

Personally, I have refused many calls. Some of those calls even re-occurred over and over again. But most of the calls had a common theme: in the face of criticism and conflict with others I refused to pursue what I knew to be true. 

Why is it that many of us don't value what we genuinely have to offer, instead pursuing something that is not authentic? Why do we refuse the story that has been designed for us, for a story that does not fit? I know that for me, I did not feel that what I had was what was needed.

Whatever your reason for refusing, the calls will keep coming. Like me, you will probably have many opportunities to answer the call so now would be a good time to understand what refusal looks like for you. Even better, why not let some people around you know what is holding you back as you continue your journey into authenticity and your dreams. 

Words

Words are powerful. An ancient teaching says that the words we speak have the power of life or death. But there are some things that words alone cannot do. In fact, studies on communication suggest that less than 10% of what we say is related to the words we use. The rest is tone, facial expression, body language, etc.

Since my post on authenticity two weeks ago, I have thought a lot about words. I wonder whether there are hidden strategies to move forward that are obscured because of my over-dependence on words or my inauthentic use of words.

To explore this concept further, I have been trying to imagine what it would be like for me to live in a world without words. What would communication look like? Would this hurt, or help, my communication and authenticity with others? This is a work in progress but here are a few things that are emerging.

1) In a world without words, eye contact becomes much more important. There is a familiar saying that 'eyes are the window to the soul'. I wonder, what am I communicating at different times when I choose to make eye contact? What am I missing when I avoid eye contact? 

2) In a world without words, it is easier to recognize the effect our non-verbal communication is having on others. I used to think that if I said nothing that people would not see what was going on inside of me. I am learning that many people know where I am at just by observing me.

3) In a world without words, the actions that we take, and the attitude behind them, reveal our priorities. Have you ever tried to convince someone that something you didn't do was really important to you to have done? If you are like me, someone may give you grace once or twice, but our repeated actions or inactions reveal what is truly important to us.

4) In a world without words, we need to grapple with silence. Periods of silence can be rich in communication. I have spent a lot of time interviewing people about their perception of their job, what is going well, and opportunities they see for improvement. I have found that my silence allows important things to surface that would not have come up had I been talking more.

And in the naked light I saw 

Ten thousand people maybe more 

People talking without speaking 

People hearing without listening...

-The Sound of Silence-

Of course, it is not really possible to live in a world without words for very long. In fact, it is ironic that I even have to use words to write this post. But I hope that I have succeeded in challenging you to look at how you can increase your authenticity and communicate more meaningfully as you walk into your dream.

Understanding Patterns: Shifting the Burden

An ancient teaching says that there is a way that seems right but in the end it leads to a place of destruction. That is a good description of the way that the 'shifting the burden' pattern works 

In the 'shifting the burden' pattern, a problem can be addressed by either treating the symptoms or by addressing the underlying problem. When the symptom is treated the problem is reduced or goes away for a time, which reduces the pressure to deal with the underlying problem. But this relief is temporary. Eventually the underlying problem emerges worse than before. As the pattern proceeds, more and more effort is needed to produce the same, or even less results. 

It looks like this:

What makes this pattern difficult to deal with is how quick it is to 'treat' the symptoms compared to the delay that is faced when choosing to deal with the underlying problem. Treating the symptoms appears to be legitimately working for a time and it is hard to see that this approach is actually making the situation progressively worse.

This pattern occurs frequently.  We can see it in organizations, in other's lives, and if we are honest, in our own lives. Here are a few examples:

1) Micro-managing relationships: The more people are micro-managed, the less ability and confidence they have to do things by themselves. This results in more, not less, effort being required to get the same results. The solution is to invest in building capacity in people you work with over time.

2) Working too much: While it is sometimes necessary to put in extra hours to rise to a challenge, working too much reduces our ability to be productive with the hours we have. It results in having to put in more and more time to accomplish the same amount. The solution is to invest in practices and a lifestyle that maximizes our ability to be productive with the hours we have - working smarter, not longer.

3) Crisis focus: Not every crisis can be predicted. But people or organizations that go from crisis to crisis seem to always have more and more to react to, leaving less time to prepare for growth. The solution is to learn to identify situations that are re-occurring and to put in place processes to deal with them. It is more effective to deal with a crisis by preparing in advance rather than reacting afterwards.

There are many more examples of this pattern - escalating debt, addictions, repeated company lay offs, frequent leadership changes - making it hard to memorize all the situations in which it could be occurring. What is more useful is to use behaviour over time graphs, like we did above, to learn to detect the pattern.

The answer to the 'shifting the burden' pattern is to stop 'treating' the symptoms and spend some time in reflection and learning so you can recognize and take action on the underlying problem. When you choose to deal with the underlying problem, you will find that there will be resources at hand to deal with it.  

Note: the 'shifting the burden' pattern is one of eight common systems archetypes in systems thinking. 

Random Ideas from Charlotte

Ever since I thought of starting a blog, I dreamed of one day writing and posting my blog while travelling. Today I get to fulfill that dream on a plane as I travel back from a conference in Charlotte, North Carolina to my home just north of Toronto, Canada.

As the plane ferries to the runway to take off, my mind is full of ideas from conference sessions and the images of a city quite different from mine. Even though I have not drawn any conclusions there is a rich association of ideas.  

I love this place where the potential of ideas and images exists, and where I do not have to make them practical yet. The time for practical will come but for now I am happy to just let the ideas and images combine with each other in one way, then come apart and recombine in another way.  

One of these random idea combinations involves three images. The first is a picture of one playground manufacturers futuristic playground equipment. The second, modern art from the Mint Museum of Design. The third, a piece of public art in the financial district in Charlotte. I am taken by the three dimensional structure inside the structures.

A repeating idea from the conference sessions was that we need to challenge the mindset of 'we have always done it this way'.  How about taking a risk on even one new idea and seeing how it works out. I am guessing that the artists and playground designers understood this. 

My airplane is now in the air and I am watching the lights of Charlotte get smaller and smaller. It is amazing how different everything looks from thousands of feet in the air. When you look at things from far away, more things can exist in the picture at the same time.

How about people? Why did someone design and make these sculptures on the streets of Charlotte or in the museum that will stand unchanging for generations?

What are they trying to tell us about themselves? About ourselves...?

Another conference idea was that there is no everybody.  That is easy to believe looking at the sculptures above. 

But we need to make assumptions when we set out to serve a community. At the conference I heard that household structure and the generation that people belong to are emerging as the first factors to consider when we try to understand people's choices.

Fun keeps people coming back. But you need [boring] processes and data to be able to continue to deliver fun.  To the participant, fun may seen to be spontaneous and random.  To the organization offering the fun, fun is the result of deliberate actions and staff culture.

Or how can things that are all white look so different?

I could keep on combining random ideas and pictures for hours... until things emerge and gradually take shape. I hope that this sparks some random thoughts of your own.  You never know what may emerge.

Perspective

If you have ever studied art, you know how important perspective is. For example objects farther away look smaller but may actually be the same size or bigger than objects which are closer. Similarly, an object may appear to be different shapes depending upon the angle we view it from. 

Our sense of visual perspective allows us to make sense of a bewildering array of shapes and sizes and put what we see into a context for us to make decisions. Other areas of our perspective are not as easy to keep in context. In fact, some common perspective distortions may be undermining your progress towards your dream.

1) Perspective of progress - most people automatically pay more attention to what is happening right now or what is about to happen than what has happened in the past. This is beneficial when you are facing a crisis, but presents a distorted picture when you are looking at how much progress you are making towards your dream. A distorted perspective of progress over time will leave you feeling better or worse than you are actually doing. Both are dangerous. 

You can learn to recognize distortion in your perspective of progress by tracking your progress regularly using a timeline or by cultivating a relationship with a mentor to give you feedback. 

2) Perspective of cause and effect - the further removed in time the effect of people's actions are from the actions themselves, the more difficult it is to link the two. This delay may lead to effects that catch people off guard. You might have heard yourself say that you just didn't see it coming. 

In order to recognize this distortion, it is helpful to consider time frames for change. Ask yourself in advance how long it will take for the full effects of your actions to play out. 

For example, in tight times you might decide to take resources away from the future growth of your dream. Typically you will see a slight improvement in immediate results as you concentrate more on the present. In this short time frame, your action would be seen to be a success. 

However, as you take away resources, you may start to see a reduction in growth as time passes since you cannot continue to produce as much with less resources. In this time frame the success of your initial action may be questionable.  

Finally, over an even longer time frame if you do not replace the resources you took away, you may see an even greater reduction in growth due to discouragement or burn out. From this time frame, the action may be seen to be an outright failure.

3) Perspective of ourselves and others - we tend to compare our insides with the outsides of others. This may play out in two different ways. First, we may conclude that others are more capable than we are because we are aware of our own inner uncertainties or nervousness while we see in others the confident image they project in public.

Second, we may judge other's failures more harshly than we do our own because we are aware of our inner motives behind our actions but we tend to only see the actions of others. 

The answer to this distortion in perspective is to take the lead in being open and transparent with others, while showing curiosity. You will find that others will usually respond in kind and that lays the groundwork for a more meaningful (and honest) interaction. Even if they don't, you can have the satisfaction of knowing that you acted with respect and integrity.

Seasons: Planting and Harvesting

A few weeks ago I wrote about the importance of recognizing the seasons as we pursue our dreams. There are many seasons in life.  As we walk into our dreams, there are some seasons that we should become familiar with - like planting and harvesting, building up and tearing down, and holding on and letting go.  This week I am going to focus on planting & harvesting. 

When you have a dream but you have very little to work with, that is a sign that you need to invest in planting and harvesting. The purpose of planting and harvesting is to bring about growth and multiplication to move forward into your dream. 

"Planting and harvesting is the right strategy for small beginnings."

Let's break this down into four steps and make it practical:

1) Planting and harvesting begins with seed - something with the potential to grow, and soil - an environment for the seed to grow. There is no point in entering the growing season without seed and somewhere to plant it. If you are not sure what these are, you need to look to see what is at hand. Chances are, everything you need for your first planting, even if it is small, is already at hand.

Here is an example of seed and soil from my experience. As I was looking at starting The Daniel Mosaic, what I wanted to do was help people put the pieces of their dream together. The seed was my thoughts and experience with strategy. The soil was the blog and my network of friends, family and colleagues.

2) Once you have seed and somewhere to plant it, the ground need to be prepared  for planting. At this stage, it is easy to dream of the benefits of harvest and ignore the hard work of preparing the ground and planting the seed. Remember, what you plant is what you can expect eventually to harvest. This is true both in what you plant (when you plant wheat, you will harvest wheat, not corn) and in the quantity (if you plant one field, you will harvest one field, not five).  

At this stage you need to evaluate how much time and effort you have spent preparing for the success of what you have to plant. Some questions to ask yourself:

How much research and planning have you done? Have you written it down?

Have you sought out meaningful feedback from others?

Have you tested your idea, looking at it from different perspectives?

How much have you practiced?

Is the timing right?

Do not be deceived, what you sow, that you will reap. 

3) In between the planting and the harvesting, there is always a delay. What we have planted needs time to germinate, to grow and to mature (remember what we learned about growth curves). It may also need tending. This delay can be frustrating to those who are expecting fast results. Just like different species of plants take different amounts of time to go from germination to being mature, so it will be with your dream. 

One of the key opportunities during this time of waiting and tending is to plant a range of seeds, like empty containers, so there are more chances to see what will succeed. Consider what ideas will support what you have already planted. Are there actions that you can take that will strengthen the success of what you have already started?

4) Finally, there comes the harvest season.  The key thing about the harvest season is to be prepared for how much has grown and to pay attention to timing. If you have spent time preparing the ground, planting and tending, then you should also invest in preparations to reap the results. There is often only a short window of time to benefit from what you have planted. You need to be watching for it.  

Heritage tomatoes from our garden. Photo: Heart's Ease & Thyme

One unexpected thing about the harvest is how much work it is. I experienced this when I became responsible for applying for grants at one of my positions.   At first I thought that the hardest thing would be getting the money, so I spent a lot of time developing a grants strategy and writing solid grant applications. I soon learned that it was relatively easy to get money for good projects. What caught me off guard was how much work it was to administer the grants program after being awarded the money. I spent much more time with funding agreements, communications, reporting and audits than I spent preparing to get the money.

I see a lot of people who have a good idea. Some of them take the next step and do a reasonable job preparing the ground and planting at first, but give up halfway through the growing season. What I don't see very often are people who see the whole season through. The results may not be spectacular the first season, but those people have positioned themselves for the next season of planting and harvesting to be even better.  

Stories: The Unlikely Call

This week I am returning to the power of story. When our own stories don't make sense to us, it is difficult to move forward into our dreams. That is unfortunate for we have all been provided with the beginning chapter of an incredible story. 

So where do incredible stories start? They start with the ordinary world. My ordinary world has been decades in the making. Maybe yours has too. It consists of routines that run deep. It consists of conclusions that I drew a long time ago. Some of these routines and conclusions have served me well...others have limited my ability to move forward. 

Looking back and being honest, I have to conclude that my story so far has been more about pleasing others than taking a stand for what I knew to be true. The story that has been written so far is the result of my priorities and the choices that I have made. 

But my story, our stories, do not have to finish with the same ordinary world. There are opportunities along the way to step out of our ordinary world. One of the ways these opportunities show up is as an unlikely call. Unlikely calls present themselves as a unique problem, challenge, or adventure for us to rise to and overcome.

It is easier to recognize unlikely calls for others than it is to recognize our own.  Why not try putting yourself into one of the stories below and ask what you would have chosen to do.  Remember, the heroes and heroines did not know how the story would turn out...

Bilbo and the dwarves' quest to the lonely mountain - would you have set off on a risky venture with a colourful cast of characters that you had just met?

Cinderella and the prince's ball - would you have worn the clothes and ridden in the pumpkin coach knowing the truth about what they really were and knowing they were only going to last for a few hours?

Moses and the burning bush - would you have gone back and faced the situation you ran away from years ago? 

Neo and the matrix - would you be willing to accept that there was a higher story behind everything you thought you knew?

Unlikely calls are not uncommon. Many unlikely calls have come and gone for me but either I didn't recognize them or act on them. 

Here are some of the things that block our ability to recognize unlikely calls:

1) Unlikely calls are linked to higher purpose. When we build our story around self-centred themes like safety, success or money, we will miss these calls. Ironically, those who give up self-centredness for a higher purpose usually find what they were looking for. 

2) Unlikely calls often come from another person who knows and cares about us. Many of the unlikely calls that I have missed, and a few that I have taken came from dear friends who could see past my people pleasing. 

3) Unlikely calls are often hidden in plain sight. They my be disguised and difficult to recognize for what they are. They may seem too risky or just plain irrelevant to our dreams. We may be looking for something else, something easier. Or we may not be ready to stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for the opportunities that come our way.  

The ordinary world will continue as long as we choose to remain in it. Like my story,  the rest of your story is linked to what you do with the opportunities that come your way. 

Timelines

Walking into our dreams usually doesn't happen overnight.  It may take months or even years. While we are putting the pieces of our dream together it can be easy to lose sight of  key accomplishments and the progress that we have made over time.  One simple visual strategy I use to remind myself of how far I have progressed is a timeline.

Timelines are easy to draw.  There are a number of different types of timelines but they all start with a line across the bottom of a page covering the time period you are interested in.  Here are two that I have found useful:

An event timeline shows milestones, challenges and accomplishments over a time period. You can also add key influences and relationships if they are relevant.  This is a strategy to use when you want to reflect of how you got to where you are.  It is also good for uncovering themes in your story and patterns that tend to repeat themselves.  

A behaviour over time graph plots one or more measures that you are interested in tracking over a time period. The growth curve we looked at in Understanding Patterns: Growth is an example of a behaviour over time graph.  This is a strategy to use when you want to measure what has changed or how well you are doing (maybe against goals that you have set). You may also add key events to this graph to explore relationships between actions you have taken and the response of the measure.

The first use of a time series plot (as well as line, bar and pie charts) dates back to William Playfair (1759-1823),  a Scottish engineer and political economist.  The timeline below dates back to 1786.

Like your personal vision, it is good to reflect on your timelines from time to time and update them as you gain additional understanding. 

Creative Tension

These days most people try to avoid anything to do with tension.  But creative tension can be a good kind of tension to have.  

Creative tension comes out of the gap between your dream becoming reality and where you are right now. 

Imagine starting to stretch an elastic band between your two hands. One hand is your dream. The other hand is where you are currently. 

As you stretch the elastic band you feel a pull between your hands. That pull is acting in two directions.  It is acting to pull where you are right now towards your dream. That is a productive place to be. It is creative tension.

As you embrace being in that place, you will find creative solutions emerging in response to the tension, often in the form of 'aha' moments when you least expect them. People who practice creativity will frequently set 'stretch' goals to keep themselves engaged and productive. 

The tension is also acting to pull your dream towards where you are currently.  That tension is not productive. It will result in a dream that drifts lower and lower.  And as your dream drifts lower there is a tendency for where you are right now to also drift lower, even further away from your dream. 

You need to be careful because this drift may happen so gradually that you do not notice it. Regularly reflecting on your dream and the underlying personal vision and core values is one way to keep in a place of creative tension rather than drifting.

The good news is, the more tension there is between your dream and where you are right now, the more opportunity there is for creative strategies to emerge, as long as you resolve to not compromise on your dream...

Another way to create tension

Curiosity

Many people I talk to have an uneasy relationship with curiosity. I know that I do. We all start out our lives as naturally curious beings. That is the way we learn. At a young age, most of us asked questions about everything.

I remember as a parent being stumped by the number of times my children would ask me why about something.  

Daddy, why is a plant green? 

Because of the chlorophyll in the leaves. 

Daddy, why is chlorophyll green? 

Because at the centre of chlorophyll is a copper atom that reflects green when light hits it. 

Daddy, why does copper reflect green light and so on...

Somewhere along the way that changed for me. Maybe it did for you as well. Like the Lilliput people feeling threatened by the unfamiliar Gulliver, I chose to either avoid difficult questions completely or answer them in a way that minimized the underlying issue. I became a knower rather than a learner. 

In 2008 I attended a systems thinking conference in Boston and saw a cartoon that reflected my uneasy relationship with questions. The cartoon has stuck in my mind ever since and I decided to draw it for this post. 

Some thoughts on curiosity:

Curiosity allows us to reach a deeper level of understanding. Some questions are not meant to be answered too quickly. We need to let questions like this exist, without being fully answered, until a meaningful answer emerges. Reflection may take a while, depending upon the question. 

Interestingly, children's natural approach of repeated questioning is now being promoted as a business tool. The asking of 'why' several times in a row is called the 5 why's - an iterative question-asking technique designed to explore cause-and-effect relationships underlying a problem.  

Curiosity plays a key role in relationships. A genuine curiosity in another person and an openness to their perspective is a dimension of respect.  This reminds me of a friend of mine. When we get together for coffee, he always has a meaningful question to ask me. After he asks the question, he listens, and I feel honoured.  I have seen him have the same effect with meaningful questions in groups that he leads.

'Each question invites another and offers the opportunity of going deeper and discovering more. Each question hopes for understanding and is an offering of respect.'  (Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, Respect)

Curiosity takes the time to ask the right question. Sometimes the right question is more important than the right answer.  Asking the wrong question may leave us in the same box that we have been in many times before, wondering why we can't move forward into our dreams.  In contrast, the right question has the potential to open doors that we did not know were there. In fact, it was an unexpected question that led to me starting The Daniel Mosaic. 

This week as you move forward into your dream, why not cultivate curiosity as a response to things you do not understand. Spend some time with some good questions and see what emerges...