Unfinished Business

We live in a world today that encourages us to dream and go for it. That is pretty good advice because we tend to under-estimate our higher purpose. We aim too low rather than aiming too high. However, an ancient teaching cautions us about two times when we should count the cost - when we are planning to build and when we are planning on initiating conflict. 

So what is it about building and conflict that warrant this cautionary note from a teacher speaking thousands of years ago? I think that in both cases it is the cost we will pay if we are unable to finish what we started.  

Unfinished projects cost us in several ways. First, they cost us the resources we invest in the project to get them started, including time, energy and usually money. We have already learned that it is easy to over-invest during the enthusiastic stage at the start of projects (see Understanding Patterns: Growth). Second, they cost us our reputation both in our eyes and in others. It is easy to get a reputation for starting and not finishing things that becomes a self-fulfilling pattern. Third, they cost us the opportunity of learning from our mistakes. When we hold onto the thought that we will finish it one day, we deceive ourselves. It would be better to finish it now, one way or another, and realize the true cost of what we started. Next time we will be more cautious. 

Unfinished conflict is even more damaging. When we engage in conflict without counting the cost, a pattern of escalation often results, and we can find ourselves in a situation that we never would have viewed as acceptable when the conflict started. Unfinished conflict may rob us of relationships that were once close or full of potential - stealing what we could have accomplished together. Unfinished conflict can also become an escape from people who are telling us the truth about ourselves. If everybody we talk to agrees with us, maybe it is because we have silenced those who risked to reveal what we cannot see, and what we need to learn. 

Conflict can be healthy when it is for the right reasons and when it is seen through to resolution. I believe that there is such a thing as productive conflict (although my usual response to conflict is avoidance or blind reaction) and I am planning on exploring it further in a future blog. But unfinished conflict is not productive conflict.  

Unfinished business, whether it is building something, or conflict, is a key killer of many dreams. Finishing unfinished business is uncomfortable. We don't want to be reminded of it. That is why many of us avoid it for far too long or forever. Bringing closure to unfinished business may seem pointless when there are a lot of things that we have left unfinished but it is a key strategy to engage in as we put the pieces of our dream together. 

Seasons: Letting Go

This week I want to return to the importance of different seasons as we pursue our dreams. Where I live we have just transitioned from winter into spring. The snow is gone. Plants are coming up in our garden. And I have started biking to work again. It is pointless to try to hold back the seasons of our lives. As much as I love winter, when spring comes, winter is gone. The hats, gloves, heavy coats and snow boots that are essential in the cold of winter, are unnecessary and uncomfortable in spring. So it is with other seasons of our lives, like holding on and letting go.  

I have been writing a lot about holding on lately. It is a good thing to hold onto the things that matter, like your higher purpose and core values. But the end result of a lot of holding on can be a lot of unintended accumulation. We can become so full that there is no room for anything new in the pursuit of our dreams. 

Photo Credit: A Glimpse of Blue

The season of letting go is about choosing to get rid of things and make space. It is about dropping things that are weighing us down. It is about leaving some things behind. It is about reducing clutter. It is about paring down to the things that matter. 

We may need to let go of physical things, like toys, clothes, books, supplies, etc. I have held onto stuff for many years because I may need it some day. It is interesting how much time and energy I spend managing things that I do not use or need. It is also interesting that I often don't miss those things when they are no longer there to remind me of their presence. At times, I try to consciously get rid of stuff a little at a time and enjoy the feeling of the space that it creates. That then motivates me to take the next step of letting go.

We may need to let go of the things we fill our time with, like longstanding roles and responsibilities that no longer fit, unproductive habits or escapes. These familiar things can get in the way of the new season that is awaiting us. It is a tragedy when a new exciting role is turned down for a role that we are successful and comfortable in but have outgrown. We may refuse the call in the story of our life that is unfolding. Likewise, when our time is so full of unproductive pursuits, we may miss an opportunity for something that really matters to us. We may even need to let go of some things that have worked well in the past, choosing instead to embrace learning and change.

We may need to let go of beliefs that we have depended upon, like conclusions about people or how the world works. Through seasons of holding on, it is easy to develop survival mechanisms, building defences against people or circumstances that we feel threaten our dreams. What we learn in times of adversity may hold us back when abundance returns. 

Letting go is ultimately about making space to walk further into our dreams. One ancient teaching lets us know that there is a season for letting go. A second one issues an invitation - let us throw off the things that weigh us down and the things that entangle us and let us run the race that is set before us. Despite being written thousands of years ago, these are timely words for today as we walk into our dreams.

Random Thoughts on my Dream

Ever since my blog on authenticity in October 2014, I have been challenging myself to write out of genuine experience. As I look back on my last few blogs, I see that there is a theme emerging - the challenge of keeping going. I don't know why pursuing my dream seems so hard at times...why it seems so easy to think about giving up. I often question why I am doing this? Why am I still writing? 

It doesn't seem to be about success or failure. Although some of my blogs get read more than others, looking back, each one has value to me. I am proud of them. 

It is not about a lack of time or energy. Writing about strategy energizes me rather than drains me. The weeks that I post a new blog are better than the weeks that I don't. The more I write, the more I want to write. 

At times, it all seems so impractical. I was taught to work hard and to not have my head in the clouds. That being 'too heavenly minded was to be of no earthly good'. Where does strategy fit in that?

I think that it comes down to this - the reason I am pursuing The Daniel Mosaic is because I still have lots to write about. I literally have lists of strategies that I plan to write about. Other strategies are stirring inside of me and will emerge one day. I can't take credit for them because this is the way that I was made. 

And what if something I wrote one day made a big difference to somebody. What if it helped them to keep going on their dream just when they were about to give up. I love that thought... And then I realize that I am doing this because it is part of me and I love what I am doing and I don't want to give up and I feel connected and energized again.