Words

Words are powerful. An ancient teaching says that the words we speak have the power of life or death. But there are some things that words alone cannot do. In fact, studies on communication suggest that less than 10% of what we say is related to the words we use. The rest is tone, facial expression, body language, etc.

Since my post on authenticity two weeks ago, I have thought a lot about words. I wonder whether there are hidden strategies to move forward that are obscured because of my over-dependence on words or my inauthentic use of words.

To explore this concept further, I have been trying to imagine what it would be like for me to live in a world without words. What would communication look like? Would this hurt, or help, my communication and authenticity with others? This is a work in progress but here are a few things that are emerging.

1) In a world without words, eye contact becomes much more important. There is a familiar saying that 'eyes are the window to the soul'. I wonder, what am I communicating at different times when I choose to make eye contact? What am I missing when I avoid eye contact? 

2) In a world without words, it is easier to recognize the effect our non-verbal communication is having on others. I used to think that if I said nothing that people would not see what was going on inside of me. I am learning that many people know where I am at just by observing me.

3) In a world without words, the actions that we take, and the attitude behind them, reveal our priorities. Have you ever tried to convince someone that something you didn't do was really important to you to have done? If you are like me, someone may give you grace once or twice, but our repeated actions or inactions reveal what is truly important to us.

4) In a world without words, we need to grapple with silence. Periods of silence can be rich in communication. I have spent a lot of time interviewing people about their perception of their job, what is going well, and opportunities they see for improvement. I have found that my silence allows important things to surface that would not have come up had I been talking more.

And in the naked light I saw 

Ten thousand people maybe more 

People talking without speaking 

People hearing without listening...

-The Sound of Silence-

Of course, it is not really possible to live in a world without words for very long. In fact, it is ironic that I even have to use words to write this post. But I hope that I have succeeded in challenging you to look at how you can increase your authenticity and communicate more meaningfully as you walk into your dream.

Understanding Patterns: Shifting the Burden

An ancient teaching says that there is a way that seems right but in the end it leads to a place of destruction. That is a good description of the way that the 'shifting the burden' pattern works 

In the 'shifting the burden' pattern, a problem can be addressed by either treating the symptoms or by addressing the underlying problem. When the symptom is treated the problem is reduced or goes away for a time, which reduces the pressure to deal with the underlying problem. But this relief is temporary. Eventually the underlying problem emerges worse than before. As the pattern proceeds, more and more effort is needed to produce the same, or even less results. 

It looks like this:

What makes this pattern difficult to deal with is how quick it is to 'treat' the symptoms compared to the delay that is faced when choosing to deal with the underlying problem. Treating the symptoms appears to be legitimately working for a time and it is hard to see that this approach is actually making the situation progressively worse.

This pattern occurs frequently.  We can see it in organizations, in other's lives, and if we are honest, in our own lives. Here are a few examples:

1) Micro-managing relationships: The more people are micro-managed, the less ability and confidence they have to do things by themselves. This results in more, not less, effort being required to get the same results. The solution is to invest in building capacity in people you work with over time.

2) Working too much: While it is sometimes necessary to put in extra hours to rise to a challenge, working too much reduces our ability to be productive with the hours we have. It results in having to put in more and more time to accomplish the same amount. The solution is to invest in practices and a lifestyle that maximizes our ability to be productive with the hours we have - working smarter, not longer.

3) Crisis focus: Not every crisis can be predicted. But people or organizations that go from crisis to crisis seem to always have more and more to react to, leaving less time to prepare for growth. The solution is to learn to identify situations that are re-occurring and to put in place processes to deal with them. It is more effective to deal with a crisis by preparing in advance rather than reacting afterwards.

There are many more examples of this pattern - escalating debt, addictions, repeated company lay offs, frequent leadership changes - making it hard to memorize all the situations in which it could be occurring. What is more useful is to use behaviour over time graphs, like we did above, to learn to detect the pattern.

The answer to the 'shifting the burden' pattern is to stop 'treating' the symptoms and spend some time in reflection and learning so you can recognize and take action on the underlying problem. When you choose to deal with the underlying problem, you will find that there will be resources at hand to deal with it.  

Note: the 'shifting the burden' pattern is one of eight common systems archetypes in systems thinking.