Mentors

It is difficult to be alone with a great dream.  As much as our society idealizes the idea of an independent successful person who needs no one, the reality is that situation is a graveyard for dreams.  There may be a time when you need to stand alone, but that should be only out of necessity, not out of choice. 

There are a number of relationships that are key to your dream moving forward.  I will visit the topic of relationships from time to time because of its importance.  One of the most powerful relationships to help you realize your dream is that of a mentor.  Mentors provide many things: they let us talk, challenge our blind spots, speak encouragement and confidence, and give wisdom that they paid dearly to obtain.  

You may decide that there are no mentors available for you.  I am going to challenge you on that.  Have you asked someone?  Maybe you feel that there is no one who is suitable, no one who is far enough ahead of you to mentor you.  That belief may be part of what is blocking you from moving forward.  

I felt for many years that there was no mentor suitable for me, so it is not surprising that I had no mentors.  The past three years I have had a mentor and it has been one of the most productive times of my life.  I have also been involved in being a mentor to a young dynamic man and have observed that something emerges in the relationship that draws wisdom out of the mentor that they did not know was there. Surprisingly, the relationship benefits both the mentor and the one being mentored.

Mentor arrangements can look quite different from person to person.  Some people transition from one mentor to another as they grow.  Some have more than one mentor - I have just gained a second mentor and count myself blessed.  It is not important what the mentor relationship looks like, what is important is that you have at least one.

As far as I can see it, there are only two things that can hold you back from the mentor that is 'at hand' for you.  One is that you are afraid of taking the risk to ask someone.  To that I say that it is an honour to be asked to be a mentor so you will never offend someone by asking.  The other is your own belief system about yourself and what you need.  To that I respond with a well known quote: "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear".

Knower or Learner?

Are you a knower or a learner?  This is an important question to consider as you put the pieces of your dream together because you will need to learn how to be a learner to walk into your dream.

So what are the characteristics of a knower?

Some knowers are confident in their accumulated experience of how their world works. When they face a new circumstance, they tend to compare it with past experience to determine the right way to respond.  They look for similarities to previous situations then look for the strategy that served them well before and apply it to the new situation.  These people can be confident and effective leaders, and often make decisions quickly.  When taken to the extreme, however, these knowers may become paralyzed by missing new, game changing strategies.  They tend to believe that what is needed for situations that are not changing is a bigger version of what they have already been trying - a bigger hammer.  

Other knowers are not as constrained by their past experience. They are more likely to focus on what is different between the new situation they are facing and ones they have faced before.  They realize the limitations of simplistic approaches in a rapidly changing world.  They take the time to examine new strategies and are more likely to take many factors into consideration when approaching key decisions. These people can also be good, stable leaders who encourage innovation in those around them.  When taken to the extreme, however, this type of knower often becomes paralyzed by ignoring sound strategies that are already 'at hand'.  They tend to believe that what is needed is more time and resources to search for the perfect solution.  

The dangerous thing about being a knower is not challenging what you 'know'.

The end result of being a knower is that eventually you will likely end up becoming paralyzed in the pursuit of your dream. The approach that has worked for you so far in life will probably not work when it comes to your dream - if it was you would have walked into your dream already.  

Moving towards your dream will require to to honestly evaluate yourself and how your current approach has left you paralyzed.  This realization and acknowledgement is uncomfortable and some people avoid it at all costs.  It means that you have to take responsibility and stop blaming your circumstances, your lack of resources or other people.  Taking responsibility and stopping blaming is a key characteristic of a learner.  When you become a learner, you will hold more loosely to what you 'know' and be more open to the new strategies and approaches that are necessary to put the pieces of your dream together.

Avoiding Dullness

New strategies have a way of expanding our perspective.  I have often experienced a sense of great possibility after being exposed to a new idea or concept.  For a while it seems as though this is the one thing that has been missing - the elusive missing link. At times like this how easy it is to be excited ... How easy to imagine moving forward. 

It is exactly at this point that the 'avoiding dullness' strategy is so important. You see, if we do not take action on the idea that resonated so deeply within us, not only will we lose that piece of our mosaic, but it will be more difficult to recognize other pieces.  

Imagine a person with an incredible dream - they are in a room with all the pieces they need to move forward, but they don't pick up any of them and use them.  That is what 'dullness' will do.  

"Do not merely listen... and so deceive yourselves.  Take action..."

It is relatively easy to 'avoid dullness' - simply start taking action on strategies that resonate within you. You do not have to take action on every strategy that comes your way.  You can take small steps.  But if you find yourself being exposed to idea after idea without taking any action, chances are you have become dull.  

So what strategy do you need take action on?  How are you doing with the strategies we have talked about so far, like personal vision?  Moving forward often takes resolve, so resolve with me to take at least one step forward now, while the way is clear to you...

Personal Vision

One of the key strategies that is always at hand is personal vision. Many of us are familiar with the vision of different organizations.  Do you know what your personal vision is? Have you ever written it down?  If you have, when was the last time you revisited your personal vision?

Personal vision is important because it is what allows us to truly engage in what we do. Our personal vision is a reflection of what we believe is meaningful and significant.  It is often linked to a higher purpose and calling. 

"Without vision, people perish..."

Now ask yourself, how does your dream fit into your personal vision? If you can't tie your dream that you are working towards into your personal vision, you are missing one of the key strategies to seeing your dream realized.  You are missing a key piece of your mosaic.  

It will take being fully engaged to walk into the dream that you have. Let's face it, if the dream you were working towards was easy to accomplish you would have walked into it by now. The fact that you haven't means that you need to approach it differently. 

If you haven't written down your personal vision before, it can be messy.  Don't worry about getting it perfect the first time.  You can come back to it again.  In fact you should revisit it regularly, at least once a year.  

One thing I have found that helped me was to focus on ideas or key words that resonated with me. After a while I found that I kept coming back to the same words and phrases, then it was just a matter of putting them together.  

Here is my current personal vision: Bringing people together to do something great. 

There are things that fit into my vision that are worth investing in - like learning to play music together with my kids. In my family I have a budding song writer, who also plays guitar and sings, a vocalist, a keyboard player and a drummer.  I play the bass guitar. You can see how that fits - even if the music sounds less than great at first.

There are also things that I am attracted to that do not fit into my vision - like inventing a new way of converting waste into energy using sunlight. These do not fit with my vision and I have had people who know me say as much. However, it might work if I pull people together rather than focusing on being the independent inventor - that is the beauty of working within your personal vision.

So now would be the time to start letting your personal vision emerge.  Or revisiting what you have already expressed to see if there are some changes you need to make.  Let me know how it goes...