Mindfulness

Mindfulness is one of my core values. It can be defined as 'to live conscious and mindful of the present moment'. Interestingly, even though mindfulness is one of the values that resonates most with me, I don't display it in many ways. That is often the way it is with our core values. The talents that we have been given need to be stewarded and developed, not ignored or hidden. I have been on a learning journey with mindfulness over the past few months. I am learning that mindfulness is about three things: awareness of ourself, awareness of others and awareness of the world around us. But, if we want to walk into our dreams, it starts first with becoming aware of ourself...

We talked earlier this year about the underlying patterns, structures and beliefs that are behind events and the way we act (see Understanding Change). Like an iceberg, most of these are hidden and we respond to them automatically without a conscious realization of the steps that we are going through. It is like that for me with conflict. I sail though a number of stages of conflict and am left at the end wondering what just happened. Mindfulness is a way of slowing down and learning what is going on beneath the surface so we no longer need to be driven by it. As I have been engaging in mindfulness, I am realizing that I am either unaware of or have been choosing to ignore much of what is going on in myself. That has been piling up and affecting my ability to live in the present.

Here is what mindfulness looks like to me:

First, I set a goal and imagine what it will look like. My goal is 'to establish a daily routine that prepares me to work from a place of mindfulness'. I imagine it like this - 'I shrink in size and become aware of the exciting things that are emerging around me'.

Second, I do a mindfulness check-in each morning to see how I am honestly doing. I rate myself on a scale of 0 to 5 (see the mindfulness scale that I developed for myself below). 

Mindfulness Check-In Scale
0 - No awareness of inner conflict. Overall sense of well-being. High awareness and enjoyment of others and the world around me.
1 - Little awareness of inner conflict. High enjoyment of tasks. High energy. High level of curiosity and creativity. Generally enjoy being with people.
2 - Some awareness of inner conflict, but does not dominate. Sense of uneasiness. Diminished excitement and creativity in tasks. Start to withdraw from people.
3 - Moderate awareness of inner conflict. Distracted, mental dullness, fatigue, neediness.  Have to force productivity. Awareness of effort to hold things together. Significant withdrawal from others. Delay eating.
4 - High level of inner conflict.  Difficulty concentrating. Anxiety, mind racing. Inability to undertake challenging or creative tasks. Aware of significant stress in different parts of body. Avoid being with people. Avoidance of food.
5 - Overwhelming level of inner conflict. Inability to concentrate. High level of anxiety, internally focused, shut down. Awareness of intense stress but inability to distinguish individual areas of stress in body. Inability to focus on others or the world around me. Limited ability to eat.

Third, I slow down to let the things that are below the surface emerge and jot these down in a daily planner taking care not to judge what is emerging. If I am at a 0 or 1, I know that there will be less to write about and I will be able to jump into engaging in and enjoying my day. If I am at a 2 or 3, I need to choose to show curiosity and take some time to inquire with myself knowing that if I do not, these things will be stealing my productivity anyways. If I am at a 4 or 5, I will need to set aside a longer period of time as soon as I can to figure out what is going on. I am probably being quite ineffective, and unaware of the effect that I am having on others, until I deal with myself and what is below the surface.

Fourth, when something has emerged that is affecting my ability to live in the present moment, I value myself by acknowledging it and experiencing it.  This usually involves some really honest and messy journaling, but it can also be something that Is expressed during exercise as I bike to work.

Fifth, after acknowledging and experiencing it, I release it to either go or stay. The issue may be easy to release now because I have expressed it and felt heard. Or it may still be hard to release because there is more to be acknowledged and experienced. But one way or another, I choose not to feed what I have acknowledged and experienced. I find that after I have released something that has been getting in the way of me being present, other things arise in me spontaneously that affirm the value of the present moment. One of the most powerful of these affirmations for me has been 'There is time for me to both take care of myself and be productive. I can bring all of myself'. With that kind of thinking, I can't wait to jump into my day.

Our awareness of ourselves and how we treat ourselves are key factors in how we relate to others and the world around us. We start with ourselves but we can't end there if we truly want to be mindful. But that will be subject of another post...