A few days ago I found myself thinking about my all time favourite movie scene. It is the scene from the Lord of the Rings: Two Towers when Aragorn and King Theoden ride out of the Helms Deep fortress with the last of their warriors. They ride out not to victory but to face certain defeat at the hands of an overwhelming army bred for the sole purpose of destroying them. All hope seems lost. And then, as the sun rises, Gandalf and Eomer arrive at the top of the hill overlooking the battle. With them are with two thousand seasoned warriors from Rohan. They ride down the hill and the enemy is absolutely and completely crushed.

I started off like feeling like King Theoden, barricaded in my fortress with the doors crashing in ... feeling that everything I valued was lost ... wondering if anyone would come to the rescue. King Theoden who was not in his right mind for most of the movie and woke up as the enemy was on his doorstep. King Theoden who was scrambling to survive. But that is not who I am.
Then I felt like Aragorn, who would not give up on the enemy's terms but rode out to meet the enemy on his own terms. Aragorn who remembered that Gandalf had promised to be there and promised that they would hold out until Gandalf arrived back with the fighting men of Rohan. That was more authentic - the role of a seasoned warrior.
Then I felt like Eomer, charging over the hill leading his troops and rescuing the day. Eomer, who gathered the remnants of scattered Rohan warriors and gave them direction and hope, even when he had been banished from the kingdom. Eomer who did not hesitate to come to the aid of the king who had abandoned him. That was when my heart leaped.
You see, at the core of me, I do not want to be rescued like Theoden. Part of me wants to be able to hold on, to stand in the gap like Aragorn, for as long as it takes. But what I really want is to be the one, like Eomer, who charges over the hill and leads the rescue.
I want to be the hero of my story.



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