Acknowledgement

I can't write, I can't write, I can't write...There I have done it.  I have been trying to write a blog for The Daniel Mosaic for months now.  It isn't working.  I should be able to but I can't.  I find it so hard to acknowledge what is uncomfortable at times like this.  I think that if I just push the thoughts, the feelings, out of my consciousness then they will go away and I can just get on with what I should be able to do.  Sometimes it works, but more and more it just leaves me stuck...and frustrated. 

Don't get me wrong.  I am not talking about letting what we want-to-do or feel-like-not-doing decide when or where we take action. That would be irresponsible.  I am talking about a state of living in conflict with ourselves, overriding ourselves, living at our own expense.  Most people can do that for a while.  But there is a price to pay.  I know because I paid it for a long time until eventually something seized in me and refused to budge. 

You see, we have to start from where we are, not from where we would like to be. Often, acknowledging where we are is the longest and hardest part of the journey.  It is the first step to being mindful, recognizing the mindless patterns in which we have been stuck.  Then when we acknowledge where we are, we need to stop being our own worst critic.  Why is it that we say things about ourselves that we would never say about someone else?

When we are in conflict with ourselves or feel stuck, there is an opportunity to silence the inner critic for a while and just be curious about what is going on, listening to ourselves and asking thoughtful questions like we would if we were with a friend.  We have an opportunity to be kind, gentle, compassionate and patient with ourselves while we figure things out.  

I am still in process but I am learning that the way I treat myself, when stuck, is the key to beginning to engage in and even enjoy the challenges that I previously had to force myself through. 

Daniel

The best mosaics have a lot of pieces...