Saying No

I am told that the primary purpose of the brain is not to pay attention to everything that is happening. That would overload our systems and leave us unable to function.  Instead, the most valuable thing our brain does is filter out the noise so we know where to place our attention.  That is an important concept as we look at when we should choose to say 'yes' or 'no'.

There is a lot of pressure today to get to 'yes'.  As a result, there are situations in which we entertain things where we should just say 'no'.  But how do we know when and where to say 'no'?  An ancient story provides some insight. 

Some leaders in exile had been given permission and resources to return home to their country which lay in ruins from being invaded and conquered decades previously. The task of rebuilding the walls of their city was daunting and there was opposition but the people rallied and took up the challenge with great enthusiasm.  As a result great progress was made in a short time.  Then came an invitation from the leaders of the opposition.  'Why don't you come and we can talk about what we can do together'.  On the surface It sounded like a good offer - to form an alliance with the ones who were making it difficult for them to finish the work.  But here was the answer... "I can't come down. I am doing a great work.  Why should I leave my work to come down to talk to you."  Five times the invitation came and five times the same answer was sent back. 

A lot of times it is important to get to 'yes', but this time the true leader recognized that the invitation was just a distraction...that this would never lead to 'yes'...that the work he was doing was too great to allow a fruitless distraction. 

So how does this help you and I?  First, what is the 'great work' that you are called to? Maybe it is time to reconnect to your personal vision and core values again. If you aren't connected to your great work, it will be easy to get distracted.  Second, how does the invitation fit with the great work that you are called to?  How does it feel when you hold the great work in one hand and the invitation in the other?  Do they merge with each other resulting in a stronger sense of possibility and greatness?  If so, then it is probably worth taking the next step.  But if not, you need to take the hardest step, and protect the great work by saying 'no'.  You may have to say it more than once. 

At the end of the day, saying 'no' to distractions is what protects our ability to say 'yes' to the great work we are called to.  That is the right 'yes' to get to. 

Daniel

The best mosaics have a lot of pieces...